23rd December 2020 Acton Murry

Boris trials new flavours of lockdown including: ‘Lockdown lite’, ‘Lockdown Zero’ and ‘I can’t believe it’s not Lockdown

22nd December 2020 Acton Murry

Rabid traffic wardens descend on M20 car park desperate to get their ticket fix

17th September 2020 Acton Murry

Hunting parties being exempt from the rule of 6 ‘shows how compassionate and in touch with the general public we are’ confirms Boris.

21st July 2020 Acton Murry

‘NHS not for sale’ confirms government that can’t decide what day it is

14th July 2020 Acton Murry

PM finally happy to encourage face masks, now lucrative contracts are finalised and in place

13th July 202013th July 2020 Acton Murry

FBI can question Prince Andrew on US soil as soon as Anne Sacoolas Is handed over, UK confirm

9th July 2020 Acton Murry

‘Bre-X-it Gon’ Give It to Ya’ as PM asks rapper DMX to join the negotiation team

4th July 2020 Acton Murry

Jubilation as model villages are allowed to re-open (and apparently pubs too)

2nd July 2020 Acton Murry

‘What is this; Amateur hour?!’ Cummings ridicules New Zealand twin’s lockdown breach

30th June 2020 Acton Murry

‘Chat sh*t about Leicester, get banged’ warns Vardy