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Boris trials new flavours of lockdown including: ‘Lockdown lite’, ‘Lockdown Zero’ and ‘I can’t believe it’s not Lockdown

By Acton Murry Research groups have found the current UK tier system has left a bitter taste in peoples mouths after jumping from tier two up to tier three, then suddenly tier four overnight. However, cunning and highly competent Government officials are already working on a counter plan. As Priti Patel said: ‘We’ve been constantly […]

Families braced to receive ‘influx of crap’ from panic buyers

By Acton Murry Families in tier 4 zones have resigned themselves to the inevitable influx of ‘any old crap’ from last minute Christmas shopper relatives. With no time left for deliveries, and only essential retail outlets open, panic shoppers have descended on supermarket ‘seasonal gift’ aisles and petrol stations. We spoke to one shopper, Mr […]