Boris trials new flavours of lockdown including: ‘Lockdown lite’, ‘Lockdown Zero’ and ‘I can’t believe it’s not Lockdown

By Acton Murry

Research groups have found the current UK tier system has left a bitter taste in peoples mouths after jumping from tier two up to tier three, then suddenly tier four overnight.

However, cunning and highly competent Government officials are already working on a counter plan. As Priti Patel said: ‘We’ve been constantly ahead of the curve’….

‘We’re going to rebrand’ said Boris, ‘We’ve got our top people working on it, my personal favourite is Lockdown lite: Half the restrictions, twice the death!’

Catchy.

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