Rabid traffic wardens descend on M20 car park desperate to get their ticket fix

By Acton Murry

Traffic wardens desperate to get their daily fix of truly f**king up someone’s day have descended ‘like a plague of locusts’ on the newly formed M20 lorry park. Many have had to go weeks or even months without writing a ticket.

The lorry park, which is the first of the UKs promised big infrastructure projects, can currently be seen from space. With advocates boasting that this sh*t-show is actually a great trial run for the actual sh*t-show that’s due to hit next year post Brexit.

The carnage has been caused as France closed their borders to travellers from the UK, in an attempt to halt the spread of a new strain of Covid: Covid 2.0.

One local said: ‘I thought Brexit was about taking control of our borders again? Yet 5 nations in the EU have done exactly that in the space of 24hrs with one press release…have we been conned all along?’

We attempted to speak to one of the wardens, but they were too busy foaming at the mouth, repeating the same mantra ‘it’s written, it’s in the system…it’s written, it’s in the system…’

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