PM finally happy to encourage face masks, now lucrative contracts are finalised and in place

By Tony Curram

Just days after Mr Gove went on TV to tell the nation face coverings won’t be enforced in England, Mr Johnson has performed his traditional Bi-monthly U-turn and now said he will enforce face coverings from the 24 July.

Many have speculated that the change in direction could be due to stocks are now finally in place to not cause the government embarrassment; it’d be pretty embarrassing to admit face coverings are an important protection measure whilst being unable to supply any. Meanwhile others keep stating that the science has changed. Fortunately Jacob Rees-Mogg was on hand to clarify the matter:

“Trade deals are notoriously difficult, just look at Brexit! And it becomes even more complicated when trying to arrange deals and payments through to shell companies so people can’t trace which MP’s are making a fortune,”

“It’s even more annoying when your chief negotiator and deal broker keeps getting spotted at Bernard castle and various other places!”

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