‘Bre-X-it Gon’ Give It to Ya’ as PM asks rapper DMX to join the negotiation team

By Tony Curram

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has made a shocking announcement today, stating he has invited American rapper DMX to join the Brexit negotiations after hearing his song ‘ X Gon’ Give It to Ya’.

“I thought it was masterpiece!” declared Boris Johnson “listening to those lyrics, I was both confused yet intrigued; what is he going to give to me? How is he going to deliver it? And then I realised; that’s the exact kind of tough-talking, vagueness my Brexit team needs!”

It is believed the next round of negotiations will begin with UK chief Brexit negotiator, David Frost, opening up talks with a gripping rap recital of DMX’s wisdom:

Bre-X-it gon’ give it to ya (what?)
Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own, Bre-X-it gon’ deliver to ya (uh)
Knock knock, open up the door, it’s real
With the non-stop, pop-pop of stainless steel
Go hard, getting busy wit it
But I got such a good heart
That I’ll make the motherfucker wonder if he did it
Damn right, and I’ll do it again (yeah)
‘Cause I am right so I gots to win
Break bread with the enemy (what?)
But no matter how many cats I break bread with I’ll break who you sendin’ me (yeah)

“And then David is going to finish with a little break-dance, spinning thing, lock eyes with Michel Barnier and do a mike drop. It’s going to be brilliant!” beamed Mr Johnson.

“If this doesn’t break the deadlock, I literally have no idea what will!”

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