By Tony Curram
The President of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro, has tested positive for Coronavirus, his medical staff have confirmed. His condition is said to be stable, but will require monitoring due to developing political complications caused by a severe case of irony.
“For a man that says this virus isn’t a concern, he spends a lot of time being concerned if he has it” remarked an unnamed Brazilian doctor, after the President came in for his FOURTH test.
Mr Bolsonaro had previously even denied the existence of the illness, then when people had the audacity to start dying in their thousands, with mass graves became more and more frequent, he refused to accept the virus as anything more than the flu.
“Mr Bolsonaro’s condition has been really complicated by an underlying bought of Irony,” explained one of Brazil’s few remaining medical advisors that haven’t been fired for agreeing with the World Health Organisation. “I mean, he’s been going around joking saying on camera ‘I doubt I’d even notice if I caught it, it’s so mild and I’m so healthy’. Well he seemed to have noticed!”
“This alone leaves him in an awkward position; is the virus worse than he believed? Or is he just a weakling being beaten by (his words) the sniffles?”