‘Prepared for a second wave? We’re not even ready for a heat wave!’ lament health leaders

By Tony Curram

Health leaders are calling on the Government for an urgent review to determine whether the UK is really prepared for a potential second wave of coronavirus. In an open letter published in the British Medical Journal, ministers were warned that urgent action would be needed to prevent further loss of life.

“We barely coped with this first wave,” said Dr Grieves “Our own PM nearly died of fucking irony when the health service his party has been trying to dismantle ended up saving his life, and if things had not quite gone our way here or there, we would have ran out of beds and ventilators; where’s those ones from Dyson eh?!”

Conservative MP Bernard Jenkin, chairman of the liaison committee has welcomed the idea of a ‘lessons learned’ style of approach, but insists the UK is well prepared and that great efforts are already underway to deal with any potential spikes. “Perhaps if you’re anxious you’re should go to the pub when they open soon to help calm your nerves?” he helpfully suggested.  

However the UK’s prepared was met with derision from many critics, who simply said:

“Prepared for a second wave? We’re not even ready for a heat wave! A&E will be full of heatstroke patients soon enough and there’ll be a hose pipe ban next week despite parts of the UK being under water less than four months ago!”

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