“Where the fuck is Milton Keynes?!” becomes most Googled phrase in Scotland

By Tony Curram

“Where the fuck is Milton Keynes?!” became the most Googled phrase in Scotland yesterday, after Iain Stewart from Milton Keynes was appointed Scotland Office Minister.

“Where the fuck is that?!” blurted Mr Robertson from Inverness “Is that in the Lowlands? I’ve never heard of it!”

Mrs Sharp from Dumfries said: “Well, I suppose it’s nice we’ve got a home-grown Scot in the seat, but why is it an MP from an English constituency? I have a theory; either not one Scottish Tory MP wanted to cooperate with Boris Johnson. Or, more depressingly for us, no Scottish Tory MP is deemed capable of handling the position. Although its possibly a combination of the two.”

The theory is given credence by the fact Iain Stewart is replacing Douglas Ross; the Moray MP who resigned in protest over the Dominic Cummings row citing: “how can I justify his actions to my constituents?” becoming the first MP in living memory to actually give a crap about the thoughts and opinions of the people he was elected to represent.

Meanwhile, Mr Stewart who was born in Scotland and worked for the Scottish Conservatives for 12 years, before becoming MP for Milton Keynes South in 2010, has gone on record to side with the PM and state Mr Cummings did NOT breach lockdown.

So he’s either a spineless weasel or an idiot.  

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