SpaceX astronauts shot into space ‘Just like I should have’ laments newly expecting father

By Tony Curram

As Elon Musk’s company SpaceX launch ‘the Crew Dragon’, shooting NASA astronauts Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley into space, a father of two from Croydon is left wishing he too shot into space.

Mr Sutton badgered his wife to take a pregnancy test after feeling ‘a bit off’ which, in a twist of delicious irony, coincided perfectly with the SpaceX launch sequence. Mr Sutton said:

“She’d been a bit off for a few days, and I was experiencing déjà vu from our previous two pregnancies, so I badgered her to take the test. The launch was on the TV and I remember hearing her nervous laughter just as the launch sequence countdown completed,”

“As those astronauts shot into space, I too wish I’d shot into space, or was at least on board with them.”

The launch was a historic first as SpaceX became the first private company to launch people into space; astronauts Behnken and Hurley were apparently ‘thrilled’ at the opportunity to be transported by a rocket built by the lowest bidder, to a completely lifeless vacuum hundreds of miles above the Earth.

“Those lucky bastards” said Mr Sutton grimly “Imagine trying to buy pregnancy craving food during a lockdown; she’ll have changed her bloody mind by the time I get back.”

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