By Tony Curram
A father from Surrey has been asked what he is doing for the ten thousandth time, when it is quite apparent what he is doing, by his toddler who apparently has severe boundary issues.
The incident happened at 08:03am Thursday morning when Acton Murry, father of four, awoke with his children. After offering all the food in the kitchen cupboard as tribute to appease his unruly brood, Mr Murry believed he would be safe to have his morning dump in peace; he was very, very wrong.
“I always leave the downstairs toilet door slightly ajar in the mornings, so I can hear the ‘little darlings’ running feral through the living room and make sure they’re ok,” said Mr Murry “If I appease them with enough food, I can usually get about five minutes of peace. I must have been too stingy on the portions as I didn’t even get a minute!”
No sooner had Mr Murry sat upon the porcelain throne did one of the gang appear at door. The toddler locked eyes with Mr Murry and said “what you doing?”
“I mean, even to a toddler, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on; he uses a toilet too! I told him to go in the front room but he just sat down and stared. It was like I was one of his TV shows! Then he asked me again! What does he want?! An actual science lesson on poop and how it works? That’s when the rest got suspicious and things got really weird.”
Fearing their sibling may be receiving extra tasty snacks without them, the remaining three children deciding to come and investigate, giving Mr Murry a packed audience to his one man show; one even applauded when he finished.
“From now on, I’ll hold it until their mother is up; I don’t think pooping will catch on as a spectators sport.”