By Tony Curram
Piers Corbyn, the brother of former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, was handcuffed and led away by police after attending an Anti-lockdown protest. The news caused a flurry of excitement in the Daily Mails ‘news room’, resulting in an editor for the ‘newspaper’ collapsing with heart palpitations.
“He’s not in the best shape old Jim,” said a journalist at the paper “he thinks bacon is a super food group, and if you try to tell him otherwise he calls you a ‘Muslim pushing Sharia law on in him’…I almost pity the ignorant racist twat…almost,”
“Anyway, the news came through saying that Piers Corbyn had been detained after showing up at a rally with a megaphone shouting conspiracy theories about the pandemic being linked to 5G and how ‘vaccination is not necessary’, not even a satire site could make this stuff up!”
“Poor Jim went into a flurry of excitement, he wanted the photo editing guys to put a photo of the Corbyn brothers together with tin foil hats on and some other nonsense. He was just spit balling 30 or 40 headline ideas when he just keeled over in the middle of the bull pen.”
We approached Jims doctor for statement; “We see this a lot in middle aged, angry, far right racists” said Dr Gurung, from Nepal, grimly “their little hate filled hearts, full of cholesterol just pile in. He should be ok though; he’s already come to and asked if I’m a real doctor and if I have a Visa.”
The protest was quite the gathering of ‘who’s who’ in the conspiracy nut job world. One man, David Samson, 50, who said he works in finance, said he came because ‘I never thought I’d see in my generation the suppressing of civil rights’ over a ‘fake virus’. (This is a true person and statement, unfortunately).
Another attendee held aloft a sign showing a Dr Who Dalek, with the addition: ‘Exvaccinate’, while others read of ‘tracking and chipping’ theories linked to the outbreak of the virus (unfortunately, another true quote).
Personally I feel this meme sums it up beautifully: