Husband and wife spice up lockdown by describing fantasy McDonalds orders to each other

By Acton Murry

Mr and Mrs Finch from Kent have candidly spoken out about how they’ve been keeping things ‘fresh and exciting’ during lockdown; talking dirty to each other.

“We started off in the first few weeks with the usual pillow talk,” said Mrs Finch “You know, the usual; ‘I want to kiss you all over’ and ‘you grab the Gerbil, I’ll get the tube’. That kind of stuff. But after a while, with the days blending into one, things started getting dull. That’s when things started getting really intense.”

“I’ll admit, I was a bit apprehensive at first,” said an awkward Mr Finch “I mean, we’ve done pretty much everything at least once, but this was a whole new level for me.”

The couple say the discovery was quite accidental, and occurred one evening whilst watching Master Chef, when Mrs Finch commented ‘I’d do terrible things to a Big Mac right now’, sending Mr Finch’s Imagination racing.

“I just went along with it, it was all so natural; it just slipped out! I just casually said ‘yea? What would you do to it?’ I honestly didn’t recognise the woman talking back to me.”

“I’d take it in both hands, and see how much I could fit in my mouth at once! And I’d have a strawberry milkshake to wash it down. I’d have chicken nuggets to my left, and a pile of cheeseburgers to my right! Then I’d….

We had to cut the interview short at this point as things got very no PG.

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