“I meant I’m taking Hydrogen Peroxide!” Clarifies a confused Trump

By Tony Curram

President Donald Trump has sparked outrage after declaring he’s taking anti-malarial Hydroxychloroquine, in an effort to stave off Coronavirus; the drug so far has no know properties for fighting the disease, and is potentially linked to a rapid deterioration in patients who are on it.

However, Mr Trump has quickly u-turned on his comment, stating it was a miss pronunciation of another compound; Hydrogen Peroxide.

“I’ve used the stuff for years to dye my hair” clarified Mr Trump “On my head, on balls. Sometimes I get Melania to put it on my butt-hole; I class it as couple time.”

“It was a simple miss pronunciation of a word, like when I said ‘China was doing a great job’, I meant ‘China are the reason behind all of our current problems’; a simple slip of the tongue really.”

When asked how he continued to remain being confused between a medicine you ingest and a bleach based hair product, Mr Trump’s foot immediately returned to its default position; his mouth.

“Oh I swill that stuff all the time, to keep the Corona away” said Mr Trump.

At this point the press room exploded and Mr Trumps Chief Medical advisor stormed out yelling:

“That’s it! I’ve had enough! I wrote flash cards phonetically for him! All he had to do was say five lines and leave! I’m done!”

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