By Tony Curram
A man has mixed his alcohol consumption up by placing alcohol in every room of the house, dressing up and video calling his mates; making his very own pub crawl. Mr Graves from Hull said:
“I just miss the simple things in life; going on a pub crawl with my mates and ending the night eating my body weight in kebab meat. With the pubs being shut, I’ve had to take matters into my own hands,”
“I started with a beer in the ‘Gardeners Arms’, but it’s all outside seating and the weather got a bit chilly. So I moved into the ‘Hell’s Kitchen’; bit rough in there. There was some right stroppy broad kicking off with me every time I said something to the lads, so I moved on sharpish to the ‘Living room’,”
“Not bad, nice cosy vibe. Only problem is its very family friendly, you know the kind of place; Kids running around, making a nuisance, kids tv and music blaring. Not the sort of place you want to get loaded in. So I headed over to the ‘Dogs Diner’,”
“Big fan of the place; nice and cosy, plenty of table seating. Nibbles out on the table and dog friendly. In hindsight, I should of just stayed there, but then every lads night out has that one point where things go downhill, right?? For me it was when I went to ‘Bath & Beyond’, in hindsight maybe I over stepped the hospitality…”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” bellowed Mrs Graves, clearly irate “If you think you’re ignoring us all day to do some stupid virtual pub crawl with your mates and now have a bubble bath with MY posh soaps, while I do bed time by myself, you’ve got another thing coming!”
It’s believed at this point Mr Graves was forcefully evicted from ‘Bath & Beyond’, presumably by his balls.