“Please don’t F*ck this up” turtles plead, as lock down eases.

By Ellie Taylor

Despite the fact we are all stuck miserably in our houses with the kids for the unforeseeable future, coronavirus is having a brilliant impact on global warming and the environment. Improvements were seen quickly and the animals (who unlike us, quite enjoy time with their offspring) are chuffed. Bird’s are chirping, the sea is cleaner, and we finally have a chance to clean up the shit hole that is planet earth. 

With lockdown in place, cruises are postponed and beaches are eerily quiet. Whilst this makes the humans seemingly raging, sea turtles and other marine life everywhere are hoping and praying for the continuing of the coronavirus pandemic forever. 

The impact on the ocean has been shocking yet undoubtedly positive, with pictures being shared around social media of even Blackpool beach looking bluer, which was a surprise to pretty much everybody. 

Almost instantly our homes got a lot cleaner and I haven’t seen any large boats. A lack of people in the ocean is really lowering the amount of fake tan rubbing off you and onto us. Can you guys keep it up?

 – Zoom (21) A Sea Turtle currently residing in the water near Essex.

I have been swimming for one hour per day for the last few weeks, and I can actually see where I am going!” – Says Squirt (7), who featured in a hit Disney film back in 2003. 

I haven’t had to release Squirt’s head from a beer can holder in weeks. It’s nice to let him have his exercise without having to worry so much for our health and welfare, dude.” – Crush (150), Squirt’s father. 

However, an octopus revealed to me marine life is concerned that the main focus of humans is strange conspiracy theories about lizard leaders, rather than keeping the ocean in a good state. As the large boats and pollution return, the undeniably beneficial effect on the ocean caused by the lockdown will be quickly undone as the uneducated swarm to ruin our beaches once more. Dolphins have supposedly been reaching out to us for years regarding the issues, but given the fact that most of us can not translate dolphin language – the issue remains unsolved. 


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