“I’m dying for a Nandos” admits UK government’s graphic designer

By Tony Curram

As the UK released its new COVID alert graph to the British public, many couldn’t help but feel like the colour scheme seemed familiar, resulting in many having the same eureka moment; it’s the Nandos spice chart!

At first it seemed simply an unlikely coincidence; no self-respecting Tory had ever even seen a Nandos, let alone had one. And so the similarity seemed likely to have been missed by top Tory politicians. However The Larking Herald managed to secure an interview with graphic designer, Mr Towler, who said:

“God I miss Nandos! And McDonalds breakfast McMuffins! I was sat there looking at old photos on my phone from my last meal in Nandos, when the job came across my desk. In a hungry/day dream state, I began my work and must have sub-consciously copied the colour scheme,”

“I didn’t even proof read my work to be honest, I knew Boris was going to be delivering it; I could have drawn a giant, veiny, hairy cock and balls and it still wouldn’t have been the most mental thing on screen.”

“So I just drew a traffic light system, wrote some words saying ‘Bad’ to ‘Not bad’, inadvertently copied the Nandos colour scheme and charged the UK tax payer an extortionate amount for the pleasure; now’s a really lucrative time to be making public announcement signage for the Government!”

At this point Mr Towler began to sob uncontrollably, eventually announcing:

“All this money and I still can’t buy one measly Nandos! God I miss Nandos”

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