Scotland want an in/out referendum on lockdown

By Acton Murry

Although officially lockdown is still firmly in place, many believe the Prime Minister will be announcing some form of relaxation of the measures this Sunday, causing friction between Downing Street and Holyrood.

“We the Scottish people believe any relaxation of the lockdown measures is a mistake” insists Nicola Sturgeon “therefore, the only reasonable course of action for us is clear; Scotland demand a simple in/out referendum on lockdown.”

Asked if this is the time for such divisive politics, when surely was now is a time essential for the four nations to work together, the First Minister of Scotland responded:

“This isn’t about politics. The decisions we make now are life or death decisions. And Scotland want to be in charge of their own destiny. We’ll have a one-off referendum; in or out. I promise we’ll respect the outcome, either way.”

“Unless it’s a result I don’t like and it’s pretty close, then maybe we’ll have a do over.”

Downing Street released the following statement: “We’re not quite sure what the First Minister hopes to gain at this time by forming a division. All four nations are advised by the same experts, same scientists and are given the same advice to follow. So naturally we should all have the same course of action.”

“I mean, unless she’s accusing Boris of going against expert advice, which would be extremely uncharacteristic of him….wait”

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