Economists citing ‘sharpest contraction in 300 years’ clearly haven’t been through childbirth, mothers claim

By Tony Curram

The bank of England state the Coronavirus has plunged the UK into the worst economic downturn in history; much worse than the financial crisis over a decade ago. Stating we’ve had the ‘sharpest contraction in 300 years’.

“That’s bollocks,” stated Mrs Simmons from Kent “these so called ‘experts’ clearly haven’t been through childbirth. Experience a 37 hour labour; then we’ll talk about ‘sharp contractions’, amateurs.”

The Bank of England has painted a grim picture for the future of the UK economy, however are remaining hopeful. BBC economics editor Kamal Ahmed said:

“We’ve all known a drop is coming, that was obvious with the pubs shutting, forcing functioning alcoholics to buy supremely cheaper supermarket beer. And hairdressers closing has been a bit difficult for the economy; everything else is just brought through Amazon these days as far as I’m aware, which has remained relatively unscathed.”

“However, what we haven’t seen is the potential upwards trend when we re-open, there’s still hope the economy will simply ‘bounce back’ to how it was before.”

However, many mothers we’re doubtful. Mrs Smith from Hull said “I’m not optimistic. I hoped I’d just ‘bounce back’ to how I was before, but it took several months, 2 minor break downs and work out DVD to get back.”

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