Government failed care homes; privately owned homes are quick to insist

By Tony Curram

Privately owned care homes are quickly jumping on the ‘Government failed us’ message, to keep the British public distracted from the fact 84% of care homes are privately owned.

“I’m not trying to sell the government out! I’m trying to avoid corporate manslaughter” explained care home managing director, Mr Green, who went on:

“All the while the public are content to blame the government, any employee deaths will be tragic statistics; the second people realise actually I’m responsible for ordering and storing PPE for my staff, then the failings suddenly become crimes. And who’s going to enjoy my Florida beach house if I’m in prison?!”

The corporate manslaughter act clarifies the criminal liabilities of companies, including large organisations, where serious failures in the management of health and safety result in a fatality; and it’s got many people in positions of authority a little hot around the collar.

“The law is pretty clear cut on this one; if you ordered your employees to go to work whilst the building was on fire, and someone was to die, you’d be prosecuted,” said lawyer Mr Gardiner “sending employees to work in a dangerous environment without the PPE required is no different”

“And ignoring independent reports that recommend minimum levels of stockpiled PPE and equipment just in case of a ‘highly likely’ pandemic event, Is definitely classed as a ‘health and safety management’ failing.”

We approached the House of Commons for comment, but they apparently couldn’t hear us over the whirring of office shredders.

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