Turns out homelessness CAN be solved overnight, shows COVID19

By Tony Curram

Homelessness will be virtually eradicated in the UK, as the Government blows the dust off a plan so old that it was drafted under Tony Blair’s government (remember him? It was a while ago). The plan involves utilising empty office space and hotels to give free bed and board to the nation’s most vulnerable.

Leaving many asking one question; why haven’t we done this earlier? What have all these charity donations over the years been for? Turns out we we’re missing one simple component; people in authority to act, to actually give a crap.

Louise Casey, hired by Boris Johnson last month to tackle the issue of homelessness, has had her start date pushed drastically forward in an attempt to make it look like the government isn’t playing catch up. Mrs Casey said:

“The concept on how to resolve homeless has always been there. It’s not really hard; give them a safe place to sleep, adequate food and follow it up with the medical and social care required to tackle their underlying issues that caused them to be homeless in the first place,”

“The real issue is no-one really cares; but with a global pandemic, that could be made worse by rough sleepers passing the virus around urban environments like plague rats, suddenly everyone is highly motivated to tackle the problem.”

“I must admit I was sceptical” said Jacob Rees-Mogg “the thought of rough sleepers using hotels that I could potentially stay in? Deplorable! But then I realised they were only using Premier Inns, and actually it’s quite nice not having to pretend to have no change on the way to the car.”


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