Plot twist; America sues China over Coronavirus.

By Tony Curram

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The US state of Missouri has gone full ‘Merica! Announcing they are suing the Chinese government over its handling of the Coronavirus for ‘severe economic losses’.

Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt alleges China did little to stop the spread of the virus, and is expected to ask for 50 million bottles of hand sanitiser and 100 million sets of PPE, or $10 Billion dollars; whichever is the greater value. Mr Schmitt said in a statement:

“The Chinese government lied to the world about the danger and contagious nature of COVID-19, silenced whistle-blowers, and did little to stop the spread of the disease, they must be held accountable for their actions. And as Americans, we have a proud history of declaring litigious actions”

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China have yet to release a statement, however it is expected they’ll respond as soon as they’ve finished laughing. Although its by many legal experts the lawsuit will go no further and fizzle out quickly.

However many have noted the Missouri lawsuit has “publicity value” and predicts other states will file their own lawsuits; a distraction move straight out of the play book of their President Donald Trump:

“In truth, I haven’t got a clue what to do to protect my citizens” Governor Mike Parson said “This pandemic has shown that we have no welfare system, our public services and health care only work for the wealthy, our economy is about as robust as a straw house and our President is a raving maniac.”

“That’s when I thought; what would that maniac do? So I had the AG file this lawsuit as a smoke screen. I may stand by and watch thousands die on my watch like my Commander in Chief but hey, at least I made a token gesture to distract the media!”

The sh*t-show continues

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