Man officially runs out of excuses to not tidy the garage

By Tony Curram


A man from Havant has today officially completed his to-do list, leaving only one challenge unchecked; tidying and sorting out the garage.

43 year old Mr Green from Havant, has been intending on cleaning the garage out since 2008, when a box of old Beano comics fell and landed on his wife’s head. He has made the same pledge every festive season since, after every run through the ‘temple of doom’ trial to extract the Christmas decorations.

“This lockdown has really done me in now” explained Mr Green “When I got sent to work from home, the wife gave me a list of jobs: hang some curtains, fix a shelf. That sort of stuff. I even added my own to the list; complete Netflix, play Call of Duty you know, the important stuff in life”


“I had been prioritising in order of importance; Netflix and CoD were obviously at the top. But I’d pottered around and fixed leaking taps, bled radiators, re-hung doors that were catching, re-grouted the bathroom; you name it, I’ve done it. Now that just leaves the poxy garage.”

Mr Green, like much of the UK public, hadn’t anticipated the UK lockdown to last as long as it has, admitting it has caught him somewhat off guard. Mrs Green however is delighted by her husband’s recent time off.

“It’s been great” Said Mrs Green “The house has never looked better. I mean sure, I have to deal with him being in his boxers nearly all day, and shouting at the TV as he plays that stupid game. But all in all, it’s been good. We’ve even spent time as a couple and talked.”

“Turns out he’s actually a nice guy, I didn’t know he played golf!


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