By Tony Curram
Keir Starmer, newly appointed leader of the Labour party, is apparently ‘ecstatic’ about the sh*t storm he’s walked into this morning, as the Labour HQ appeared to be on fire stating “At least it makes a change to news on Coronavirus. You’re welcome UK!”
Many theories emerged from the backlash of Labours devastating defeat during the 2019 general election, including Corbyn’s vague stance on Brexit and anti-Semitism within the party. Even the BBC and UK media were accused of portraying Mr Corbyn as a terrorist, a communist and probably the kind of guy who kicks puppies.
Everyone was blamed; except the Labour party itself. Until today when an 860-page document, which apparently uncovers many failings in the process for tackling antisemitism complaints, was leaked. Probably by Corbyn himself; he is a terrorist after all.
A Labour spokesperson was quick to comment to Sky News (who were the first to report the leak): “Yes we thought Corbyn was a bit of a chump, but this extremely comprehensive and heavily researched report leaves many unanswered questions like, what was his favourite ice cream? Or Corbyns first pets name? And therefore should be discarded….please don’t read it.”
The general narrative shows: “At its extreme, some employees seem to have taken a view that the worse things got for Labour the happier they would be, since this might expedite Jeremy Corbyn’s departure from office.” Showing that many in the Labour party’s own leadership wanted to fail. Well at least they achieved that; spectacularly.
The report also contains several leaked WhatsApp messages that show many senior officials were hostile to Corbyn when he took over, referring to Corbyn-supporting party staff as “trots”, and mentions Corbyn’s former chief of staff Karie Murphy as “medusa”, a “crazy woman” and a “bitch face cow” that would “make a good dartboard”. Looks like the Labour party needs some #Bekind.