Paul Hollywood ‘is in a stable condition’ after Kelly Brook’s dirty knees innuendo.

By Tony Curram

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Celebrity bake off was on our screens again last night, and as men across the nation sat down with their partners, a joint concern was felt by all; Would Kelly Brooks live up to the adolescent memories? Unfortunately for Judge Paul Hollywood, the answer is a resounding ‘Yes’.

The incident occurred later in the show, when Paul Hollywood collapsed in a heap at Ms Brook’s feet. After already winning herself a highly sort after hand shake (of course she did), Ms Brooks sort to pull out all the stops on her show stopper. Themed on guilty pleasures, Ms Brooks was making herself a bubble bath themed cake.

When asked to explain her guilty pleasure, the 40 year old former glamour model replied: “After a day in the garden when I’m covered in compost, I like to strip off and get in the bath with bubbles and champagne and clean my dirty knees.”

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Completely oblivious to the innuendo she had dropped, Noel Fielding was reduced to a fit of giggles, while for Paul Hollywood the mental imagery was too much, causing a minor cardiac incident; he’s said to be in a stable condition in hospital.

Compared to prior episodes, the show went relatively smoothly. Comedian Mo Gilligan didn’t appreciate that baked goods actually require baking, failing to put his biscuits in the oven in time. Although thanks to the Cider he was drinking, managed to stay rather relaxed about it all. And Judge Rinder had a minor break down at the back of the tent.

Carol Vorderman was last seen giving a private maths lesson to a very eager Sandi Toksvig.

Bake off is back for another event filled episode next week, 8pm on Tuesday, channel 4. In the mean time you can click here to go to the Stand Up For Cancer page, where you can see how you can get involved or donate. Or if you think some baking would be a good way to pass the time in isolation, click here for the Bake off official recipe book and some starter kit ideas. The best part? Have it delivered to your door!

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