By Tony Curram
Dominic Raab has taken the helm after the Prime Minister was rushed to intensive care last night, leaving Mr Raab feeling slightly out of his depth. It’s believed the PM only appointed Mr Raab as an in-house joke between ‘Harry Potter Villain’ Rees-Mogg, Mr Gove and himself.
However things may be getting less funny, as the man who only 3 years ago wasn’t even in Government, and that only recently learned the ‘importance of Dover’ in terms of import and export, appears to be somewhat out of his depth. A concerned Mr Gove was alerted to a noise coming from the disabled toilet, only to find Mr Raab sat on the toilet with a laptop.
“I thought this was the PM’s office, its smaller than I expected. Smells exactly as imagined though,” said a confused Mr Raab “So… I was Foreign minister, now…Domestic Minister?”.
At this point it’s said Mr Gove took Mr Raab for a special ‘PM’s eyes only’ brief that himself and Mr Rees-Mogg had put together.
“He’ll be fine!” said Mr Gove, more to himself than us “It’s a lot to take on, very overwhelming. He just needs getting up to speed! That’s why we’ve put this ‘special’ presentation together for him. He’s a very…visual learner.”
The briefing, which turned out to be a 3-hour sock puppet show, explained how the Government works and what Coronavirus is, was apparently a huge hit with Mr Raab.
“Oh yes! I’m much more up to speed now!” declared Mr Raab, brimming with new found confidence “Now, I just need to find out who the elected official is of Coronavirus, and tell him I’m applying trade sanctions…”
“He’s getting better” shrugged Mr Gove.