“I’m also a politician, so naturally a hypocrite”; clarifies Dr Catherine Calderwood

By Tony Curram

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Scotland’s chief medical officer, Dr Catherine Calderwood, has resigned after making two trips to her second home during the coronavirus lockdown. Despite being behind TV and radio adverts urging the public to stay at home to save lives and protect the NHS, Dr Calderwood decided her own advice didn’t apply to her.

“I want to clarify that the advice I gave to the public really is important” began a flustered and red faced Dr Calderwood “I just thought I was more important. And I’m also a politician, so naturally a hypocrite”.

First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who admitted Dr Calderwood had made a mistake, had backed her to stay in post stating “She needed her”.

“Catherine’s great” said Mrs Sturgeon “I’ve never met anyone who can down a bottle of Bucky as quick as her! You need that kind of morale around you at these dark times! And who hasn’t had the trouble of deciding between which one of their estates they’d like to isolate in?”

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Unsurprisingly most of Scotland and the remainder of the UK failed to relate to this drama. However many certainly raised an eyebrow when the police issued Dr Calderwood a warning for breaking the lock down rules. This warning came after the Scottish Sun published photographs taken of Dr Calderwood and her family visiting Earlsferry in Fife – more than an hour’s drive from her main family home in Edinburgh.

“I live in a 2 bed flat with my 2 children and no garden” said Mrs Marrow of Edinburgh “if I took my kids outside, even observing social distancing, I’d be plastered all of Facebook! How are we expected to stay in when the chief medical officer can’t cope being locked up in one of her estates?!”

Dr Calderwood admitted her actions were distracting from the importance of the COVID19 advice, and has since resigned to spend more time writing her book on ‘example based leadership’.

Enjoying some satire in this lock down? What a perfect way to tickle your funny bone and broaden your take on the political landscape. Take a look at these other well established writers and funny-folk here.

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