‘Oil your hole’ warns Prue, for a delectable meat flower

By Tony Curram

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Viewers were shocked last night by the event filled episode of Celebrity Bake off. The ‘Oil your hole’ comments from judge Prue Leith, are believed to be in reference to the technical challenge; twelve Yorkshire puddings, filled with Horseradish and a steak flower.

Although many believed there may have been a cruder meaning behind her words, after several set workers swear seeing the judge drink a whole bottle of cooking sherry during makeup.

Prue Leith’s comments were far from the highlight of the show, after ‘YouTube Celebrity’ Joe Suggs became the first person ever to faint inside the tent, after receiving a minor cut from a peeler.

“What an embarrassment!” Whimpered Joe “I’m not a real celebrity, and now I’m not even a real human!” Judge Paul Hollywood was on hand to comfort the young man off screen. No-ones sure what transpired but, an hour later, Joe was rewarded with a renowned handshake.

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Many were also left questioning if James Blunt had truly ever served in the military and even been to Sandhurst (Sandhurst supposedly being the centre for military excellence, training the nation’s future commanders in leadership and planning), after revealing his plan consisted of ‘turning the oven on, mixing the ingredients, and making a cake’. However several military personnel confirmed that’s standard officer level planning, and is why the British Army has Senior Non-Commissioned officers to chaperone lost officers.

The first aid services earned their wage during filming as Alex Jone’s, who had a nightmare on the first two challenges, finally hit ‘f*ck it’ and trashed her work station, cutting her hand in the process. She was removed shortly after filming finished and charged with criminal damage.

It’s believed the Stand Up To Cancer cause may drop all charges, if she’s willing to foot the shortfall in donations the charity would usually earn from bake sales, which are unfortunately banned currently under coronavirus prevention measures.

Bake off is back for another event filled episode next week, 8pm on Tuesday, channel 4. In the mean time you can click here to go to the Stand Up For Cancer page, where you can see how you can get involved or donate. Or if you think some baking would be a good way to pass the time in isolation, click here for the Bake off official recipe book and some starter kit ideas. The best part? Have it delivered to your door!

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