By Tony Curram
A man from Surrey has finally made his peace with being in isolation today, after having the epiphany that it’s just like Christmas. Mr Douglas claimed to initially be struggling mentally with the lack of personal freedom, but has now ‘turned a new page’ after treating the period like Christmas.
“The similarities are remarkable!” he said, as he poured half a box of celebrations into a bowl for breakfast “Think about it; the shops are manic, and there’s barely anything on the shelves. There’s nothing to do but eat. And you’re trapped in doors with family that drive you crazy!”.
Many people throughout the UK are reporting a decline in mental health, as many begin to suffer with anxiety caused by fears over the virus, while for others reduced social interaction and lack of routine begin to take their toll.
“Not me though” chirped Mr Douglas happily, balancing his bowl of chocolate on his gut, covering Santa’s face on his Christmas jumper. “You just have to get into the spirit of it all!”
“He’s an idiot” said Mrs Douglas bluntly “He’s been in that Christmas jumper all week. He even had the kid’s hand making Christmas cards. They’re all expecting presents any day now! Imagine the confusion when I go and give them an Easter Egg! What am I supposed to do? ‘Sorry kids, you’re dads an idiot, happy Easter-Claus?’. Bloody nightmare.”
“The list really does go on, its uncanny; there’s all sorts of re-runs on the TV, celebrities are doing all kinds of special shows” continued Mr Douglas absently “and you’re continually worried Grandma’s go to snuff it”