Sir David Attenborough: “Oh NOW we can afford to fly less planes”

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By Acton Murry

Sir David Attenborough has spoken out today in dirision after Ryan Air and BA have cancelled hundreds of flights. British Airways and the ‘Pound Land’ equivalent of air travel, Ryanair have cancelled hundreds of flights as people finally decide that being well travelled is ‘over rated’, amid fears that Coronavirus could spread rapidly.

“W****rs!” declared a clearly frustrated Sir Attenborough, English broadcaster, natural historian, avid climate change activist and just all round general legend went on: “We’ve pushed for less air traffic for the sake of not a few thousand lives, but billions! But no! It was too lucrative and no-one wanted to hear it”

“Oh but a bit of ‘exotic’ flu goes round, and suddenly everyone’s happy to just google what Italy looks like or holiday in the UK. We’ll no doubt survive Coronavirus no matter what measures we take, but we won’t survive climate change”

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Air travel has seen such a marked drop in use, the UK internal flight company, FlyBe has gone bust due to the Coronavirus outbreak. Such is the usual appetite for air travel that despite the UK declaring a climate emergency (and doing the exact opposite of what you do in an emergency; nothing), the UK narrowly avoided adding a third runway to Heathrow.

Travel blogger, Peri Patetic, who declares himself as ‘Woke’ and doesn’t eat anything that casts its own shadow, tweeted “Can’t wait for it to be safe for people to travel again, without putting our health at risk”

“Yea, without putting your health at risk” retorted Sir Attenborough “Tell that to the vulnerable living with mild-moderate air pollution”

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