By Acton Murry
An amateur writer and editor, Acton Murry, is in complete panic today as he has failed to write a single article. Nothing. Not even a knock-knock joke. The absence of having anything to edit seems to have caused something of an existential crisis in the 30 something functioning alcoholic from Surrey.
“WHO AM I?!” Bellowed a clearly distressed Acton Murry “What’s an editor with nothing to edit? What use is a writer who can’t write?!” At this point, Mr Murry began sobbing into his beer, cradling his childhood soft-toy, Mr Flopsy.
“Writers often get like this” Said professional Psychiatrist Mrs Shivon Freud “Extreme mood swings, bouts of anxiety and stress are all very common side effects of writers block”
“What Mr Murry needs is some down time, clear his head, and then he should find the ideas come flowing in”
Mrs Murry was quick to comment “What utter bollocks! Firstly, you need to be a writer to have writers block! He’s just a twit with a laptop that thinks he’s funnier than he is. Secondly, if he thinks he can leave me to look after 4 kids while he has some ‘down time’, he’d best sleep with one eye open!”
A very sheepish looking Mr Murry was quick to add “I think I best put the kids to bed. I’ll just share some old fart jokes I wrote back at college for the meantime, maybe the nation is into low-brow idiocy”
“I mean, we voted for Boris”
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