Homes under the hammer re-categorised as ‘Class A drug’ as part of radical Home Office crack down

By Acton Murry

The popular BBC one day time TV show, Homes under the hammer, has been categorised as a class A drug, in a radical move by the Home Office today. The move comes as part of a larger shake up by the Home office to tackle anti-social behaviour, drugs use and decrease the amount of people who are economically inactive.

“All he does is sit there stuffing his face, watching that damn show!” said Mr Bishop, who claims his son has been unemployed for 18months and has given up on gainful employment to become a property developer.

Many have praised the bold new direction, but said it doesn’t go far enough. Mrs Dannat of Wrexham, whose son Shaun now lives with her full time said “It’s great that they’re cracking down on Homes under the hammer, but what about the others? If he can’t get his usual fix, he’ll just make do by watching ‘Location, location, location with a ‘place in the sun’ chaser”

“Personally I blame that Martin Roberts for making property look cool and so damn sexy”

At a time when anti-social behaviour and drug use are at an all-time high, immense pressure has been put on the Home Office to release fit for purpose new legislation to tackle the issue. Secretary of State, Priti Patel was keen to take 5minutes away from hounding Sir Philip Rutnam to give this statement.

“I’m immensely proud of the bold new stance being taken against easy viewing day time television, especially when it ties in so well with my policy to encourage the economically inactive back to the work place. It’s so tragic to see young people one minute aspiring to work in fast food, the next minute talking about ‘Gazumping’ or ‘going to auction for a property to flip. It’s immensely distressing to see a loved one go down that slippery slope”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go kick a puppy and have my horns filed down again”

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