Coronavirus fawning over the common flu makes virologists uneasy

By Acton Murry

Eyewitnesses in China report seeing the Coronavirus, affectionately nicknamed COVID-19, completely loved up over the simple influenza virus. Shop worker Yu Yan describes the event as ‘creepy’. “I was just putting out some fresh cock roaches on sticks out front when I saw the standoff happen in front of me”


COVID-19 was apparently on the prowl for some new respiratory tracts to infect, preferably of the elderly or respiratory challenged, when he was stopped in his tracks and openly gawked at the Influenza virus.

“Who is this beauty? Look at that RNA! Our babies will be smart AND deadly”

So far despite the hysteria, COVID-19 is proving to be much less fatal than seasonal flu, although health professionals everywhere are concerned what could happen if the virus was allowed to run unchecked in a nation with poor health care and mutate.

Influenza is said to be quite flattered by the incident “it’s not every day someone of my age gets ogled over, and by a celebrity non-the less! It made me blush!”

“Obviously this latest development is concerning” Says lead Virologist for the World Health Organisation (WHO), Dr Fever Ishly “However were confident we’ve got a containment plan in place”.


“Wer’e going to go with the oldest trick in the book, we’re going to show Influenza a photo of COVID-19’s patriarch; SARS-CoV-2”

“Oh, maybe not then” said Influenza. “Especially as a general rule, I don’t date lab grown entities”

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